She already knows she’s fat. How many times mush she continue to see her fatness. Instead of addressing the real problem of her obesity, if she wouldn’t be deemed so crazy, but for a handheld mirror to do her hair and makeup, she’d paint all of her mirrors black, as bleakly dark as her foul mood. Soon it would be summer, a time of invitations to the beach, outdoor concerts, barbeques, and pool parties. Soon it would be hot, really hot, and too hot to walk around in dark, oversized clothes. She hated invitations. She hated being invited anywhere. She hated having to say no to go to the beach, to see outdoor concerts, to attend barbeques, and to wear cutoff jeans and an oversized tee shirt over her bra to the pool. She hated pools. She hated people. She just wanted to be left alone. She just wanted to stay home alone to watch movies while eating junk food. Whenever out with her thin friends, what was left of them after not keeping in contact with them, men referred to her as the fat. We both lay down on the bed, it was a single but not much smaller than a standard double, and talked about everything. He told me he’d been dating Aubriana, one of the female dancers’ sister, but she’d ended it a few weeks ago. I explained to him that sometimes people grow apart and don’t feel the same any more and he said he understood, and he didn’t love her, and he wasn’t too upset about it. I was glad, I hated the idea of anyone hurting my friend. I hugged him tight then looked into his eyes. I could see how anyone could get lost in those eyes. Not that I ever would, I’m just saying, they were so dark, velvet brown, with every emotion and every secret in history hidden in the depths of the smooth darkness.. and before I knew what I was doing my lips were touching his. I pulled back, I knew I shouldn’t have kissed him, and I was sure he was going to be upset. I couldn’t have been more wrong. His face softened into a smile and he pulled me close and kissed me back. I hesitated for.
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