The effect of the Wall Street bailout wasn’t felt that immediately, but he knew that times had radically changed in a few short months. He knew he couldn’t simply waste his time anymore by relying on lost dreams or simply holding his hands up in surrender as he wonders where his next meal will come from. He did have some money in the bank to tie him over for a couple of months, but in the meantime he would fill out those pesky application forms that weighed on his kitchen table like a stack of encyclopedia.And then he thought that any simple and mindless job would do, because whatever systems that had been firmly in place had suddenly loosened up, much like floorboards that started to warp and wobble a bit. He knew that his fate, however, rested ultimately with God, but sometimes God goes silent all of a sudden, as though there is no transmission from him at all. It was only the voice of the television trapped in his skull, as though the sides of his head were really walls that kept. Shementioned that she wanted to go into town to get a journal. As she leftto get changed to go out, she invited me to come along for the ride if Iwanted.I knew she worked out her feelings sometimes through journaling and Ialso knew she would want time alone to think. I stayed at the house whileshe went out. I would have went and just stayed in the car if I hadthought she really wanted me there. But as she got up to leave and caughtme out of the corner of her eye and quickly looked away I knew she neededto work this out for herself.I went into the entertainment room while she went upstairs. The TV wasoff and I couldn't turn it on with the mitts. I just sat in the corner onthe dog pillow feeling too out of place to use the human furniture. Also,I was less likely to catch her eye on the floor. I'm sure she was dealingwith guilt as well as some revulsion. I had heard her go up the stairsand open the bedroom door. I heard it close behind knowing that Icouldn't follow now. I heard her as.
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