‘In this house? In this room?’ I asked slowly. She nodded slowly. ‘How many Dani…’ She looked at me and said in amongst a sigh ‘Does it matter?’. I guess I figured at this moment what was going to happen. I’d hear the number, I’d get angry and yell, she’d yell at me, we’d fight, we’d argue, eventually she may, in theory be able to talk me down or vice versa and then we may even make up. Like fuck. It was over. I stood up and grabbed a bag, ‘You’re leaving???’ she asked strangely perplexed. As she stood up, she grabbed my arm. ‘Dani let go or I’ll throw you across the room.’ ‘Don’t leave Mike please don’t leave! If you’re not going to stay for me, stay for Lance!’ My anger boiled into hatred. Here was this whore, trying to use my beautiful son as leverage to get me to stay. How dare she. Such a beautiful innocent little boy and this dirty slut was trying to blackmail me with my love for him. ‘Think of Lance Michael, this won’t be good for him!’ ‘Dani if you don’t shut your damn. Conflicting feelings roared through me and I froze as I tried to decide what was happening to me. Once I was able to sort out the real sensations from the climax-driven phantasms, I found that I could still feel everything below my waist, so it hadn't severed my spine, even though I had felt the point grate across my backbone in passing. The blade transfixed me front to back almost perfectly. A steady stream of blood flowed from the wound and ran both ways, making a bright red track across my stomach and curving past my collarbone to run off my right shoulder. The surprising thing was that the pain wasn't too bad. At first it was just a dull ache; but it was building.With a look of terror and shock that may have been my finest film moment, I rolled my eyes back, dropped my head back onto the hay, closed my eyes and went totally limp. To the camera, it would look like I had died. In reality, I was going into a trance, a state which would slow my perception of time and let me deal with.
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