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You set yourselves apart too much.You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us.Look at me ... I'm ME! I have Italian blood, Greek blood, a little Irish blood, and some Aborigine blood. What do you say to that?"The Englishman replied,"Awfully sporting of your mother, old chap!"This one is compliments of Misguided ChildA businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, ' Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except ... the MagicPenis!'The husband said, 'The what'?The man repeated, 'The Magic Penis, ' and pulled out what seemed to be an ordinary dildo.The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a dildo!'The man then pointed to the door and said, ' Magic Penis, door!'The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding away at the keyhole. The whole door. ‘As soon as we’re finished, I’m going to shop for a new dress. I can’t stand not looking good,’ Monica pointed out. She was skinny, 5’2, and Asian. I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. I would do her if she wasn’t my best friend. ‘Please, Monica, not this again,’ Jenny complained. ‘You always look good- you can even pull off that ‘just rolled out of bed’ look. Remi, however…girl, I don’t know what you were thinking.’ Jenny was the queen bee blonde and former cheerleader of Dull High, fashion guru of the century. ‘What?’ I said irritably. ‘We said we were going to get our hair done so I left it alone.’ That was my excuse for being a self-proclaimed ‘artiste’. A sophomore in college attempting to be a journalist cares not about what they look like, but how to task manage to get through a certain deadline. ‘Yeah, I agree with Jennifer,’ Monica chimed in, ignoring my protest. ‘Ever since you attended college your style has literally gone flat- and we’ve known you.
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